If you’ve done the talk therapy and exercise regularly, but still feel that hopeless feeling of being “stuck”, you could be missing 2 important components to your progress – The MIND-BODY connection and INNER-CHILD work.
I thought I had it all figured out when I started working on my mind. For the most part, the hard work did start there.
Our subconscious mind soaks up all information presented to us. Information coming from our surroundings e.g. other people, media and our environment. Naturally, as a result, our thoughts and behaviours are strongly impacted by our subconscious.
In early childhood, our mind accepts all information as true because there isn’t yet any existing belief systems based on previous experiences, to contradict the information. This is how we develop firm beliefs in childhood that impact us for the rest of our lives.
By around 6 or 7 years old, we have a set of beliefs that becomes increasingly difficult to change.
From that time on, when new information is presented, the subconscious evaluates it against existing beliefs- accepting it or rejecting it. This is the basis for our perception of the world and explains why the experiences from our childhood is such an important factor determining how we experience adult life.
The inner child is a part of our subconscious mind. It is an important concept that helps us understand past events and our resulting “programming”. All of our past experiences that make up our life’s journey and our personal stories, are stored in our mind, much like a word document or excel spreadsheet would be saved onto a computer or nowadays in the cloud. If we experience trauma- for example- in our childhood we store it as the person (the child that we were at that time).
This is one of the reasons I delve into what’s happening beneath the surface when I work with client’s unhelpful behavioural patterns. It’s a process that helped propel me in the right direction too. We uncover the subconscious wounding that has created the limiting beliefs they get stuck with in adulthood and get in touch with that inner child to correct and reframe those beliefs holding them back.
But working with the inner-child isn’t always enough. Connecting the mind to the body is a crucial step in healing emotional wounds.
For many years, I understood the concept of mind-body work and really believed I was making steady strides in connecting the 2 with talk therapy, personal development, pilates and trampoline rebounding, but, in truth, there was still a clear disconnect after confronting the same subconscious wounding repeatedly.
Childhood trauma fragments a person’s personality around the trauma. As a protective mechanism, many trauma survivors dissociate from their bodies completely. Dissociation is a break in how the mind handles information. It looks different for different people, but it’s a general sense of feeling detached from your body or feeling as though the world around you is unreal. You may feel disconnected from your thoughts, emotions, surroundings and even memories.
The work of getting back into your body starts with really feeling your inner-child’s feelings and accepting them as they are, without judgment, criticism or rejection and then to notice how those feelings exist within your body. As you move from that awareness, you start creating safety for that inner-child through nurturing yourself in a way that you may not have entirely been nurtured in those fragmented times. Getting back into your body also creates an internal safety for your mind and body to release patterns of trauma that have been stored both in the mind and in the body.
It’s a process of staying attuned to your surroundings, but really going within and honouring your needs. My favourite mind-body practises are breathwork, muraqaba (meditation), TRE (Trauma release exercise), being out and appreciating nature and simply taking walks.
In any healing space – patience, consistency and compassion – are the keys. Book a session with a coach, therapist or counsellor to work with your inner-child and definitely remember to include practises that get you back into your body.
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